Anna's Weekend: A Play in Two Acts

Disclaimer: This was written on two hours of sleep. It seemed like a good idea at the time. 

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Characters

ANNA is the Anna that you know from French House. She just landed in DC, where she will spend the weekend before going to Charlottesville VA to start her internship. 

SPENCER is Anna's friend from the University of Illinois, who is interning at NASA this summer. Anna doesn't get to see him very often, so they're hanging out this weekend. 

MONICA is Anna's best friend from Middle School, who lives in Burke VA. They have not seen each other in two years, and before that had not seen each other in four years. They are, therefore, also hanging out this weekend.

ACT ONE

1 June 2012

SCENE ONE: Walmart

Anna and Spencer are walking around Walmart, ~1 hour after Anna's flight from Boston. Anna is still freaking out about all the tornado warnings she saw while on the plane. Spencer is excited but won't tell Anna why. 

ANNA: ...so, what are we looking for?

SPENCER: It's a surprise!

ANNA: Um, it's not going to be a surprise for much longer. I'm already here, and we need to buy the stuff.

SPENCER: Oh, yeah. DO YOU WANT TO GO CAMPING IN THE STORM?

ANNA: What?

SPENCER: Do you want to go camping in the storm?

ANNA: Yeah!

They buy food, a lighter + lighter fluid, and go on their merry way.

SCENE TWO: The camp site

They arrive at the camp site. It is dark, and some other people are already there (I guess storm camping is A Thing.) They manage to set up the tent, using tarp magic. The rain sounds epic.

SPENCER: Now we light the fire!

ANNA (confused about how this is possible in the pouring rain): ...Oh! Okay...using what?

SPENCER: Wood and the lighter fluid.

ANNA: Oh. I guess we have to hold the tarp over the fire or something? 

Spencer makes fun of Anna for the rest of the weekend for actually believing that it's time to make a fire. Anna feels stupid.

The next morning. It's bright and sunny. The tent is now photograph-able:

Not a bad setup job.

Anna takes a shower with a bunch of moths, accidentally drowning one, which leaves a deep, permanent emotional scar. She hopes she can salvage her friendship with Davie. This can be staged with a wooden box for a shower (close enough). Author's note: DAVIE HAS A FACEBOOK! 

After her shower, she helps Spencer start a fire by sawing some wood, which makes her feel really legit. During the feast, Spencer convinces Anna that vegetarian hot dogs actually aren't that gross, but Anna fails to convince Spencer that marshmallows are not gross.

SPENCER: I can't believe you actually thought that we were going to start a fire in the rain by holding a tarp over it.

ANNA: Shut up. I hate you.

Anna's phone rings.

ANNA: Hello? / MONICA! / OH MY GOD! / YES I'M TOTALLY FREE! / YES WE MUST HANG OUT I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU! She hangs up.

ANNA: Spencer, I need a lift.

SCENE THREE: A country club
Monica's family is hosting a graduation party for her older sister, Amanda. She is graduating from the Naval Academy, and is now joining the Marines. 

Monica and Anna have only seen each other once since eighth grade, but when they hang out, it is as if no time has passed at all. They reminisce about how, in Middle School, everyone thought that they were twins. They fill each other in on their lives. 

MONICA: I stalked you on Facebook and saw pictures of Daniel. HE HAS SUCH NICE HAIR! It's like Prince Charming hair!

ANNA: Yup. 

Monica runs around playing hostess, which involves a lot of greetings and polite chit-chat. Anna tags along because she knows approximately four people out of the one hundred present. 

RANDOM FAMILY FRIEND FROM CHURCH: Monica! How you've grown!

MONICA: Hello, *family friend name*! 

RFFFC looks at Anna. Stares.

RFFFC: And you must be...a first cousin?

ANNA: ...Nope. 

RFFFC: Wait, really?

ANNA: ...Yes.

RFFFC: You and Monica look like TWINS! 

RANDOM FAMILY MEMBER: Monica! How you've grown!

MONICA: Hello, *family member name*!

FM looks at Anna. Stares.

FM: ...Are you related?

ANNA: ...NO!

FM: You and Monica look like TWINS!

RANDOM FAMILY FRIEND FROM CHURCH: Monica! How you've grown!

MONICA: Hello, *family friend name*!

RFFFC looks at Anna. Smiles very sweetly.

RFFFC: Oh, you two looks like TWINS!

ANNA: Haha, yeah. We get that a lot.

RFFFC: I can imagine. So, what are you, first cousins?

ANNA (assumes she's joking): Hahahahaha! HAH!

RFFFC: ...

Anna: ...

RFFFC is obviously serious.

Anna (before she can stop herself): WHAT? WE'RE NOT EVEN THE SAME ETHNICITY!

Monica is Hispanic. Anna is not. They take a picture to see if they actually look alike. The audience can judge for themselves.

No...not really.

Monica's great-uncle presents to Amanda her grandfather's sword; her grandfather was also in the Marines. Everyone sheds a few tears.

Spencer picks Anna up - they have to get to bed early because they have an early start the next morning. 

ACT TWO 

2 June 2012

Background: Spencer is an Aero/Astro guy, and has magic connections from that, which resulted in two free tickets for a hot air balloon ride. 

3:30am

Anna's alarm rings, concluding two hours of restless sleep. Shortly afterwards, Daniel texts her to make sure she's awake, because he's a good friend.

Anna wanders out of the guest bedroom in a daze to make sure that Spencer is also up. He is. 

SPENCER: Don't forget your camera.

Anna almost forgot her camera.

They get in the car, and drive for an hour and a half, out to the middle of absolutely nowhere. A rooster crows as the sun begins to rise. 

Pictures not an official part of the script.

It looked a bit like the set of a horror movie.

The rooster continues to crow, which gets really annoying really fast. 

6:00am

A van arrives, bearing a big bearded man who has been flying hot air balloons for 31 years. He is very clearly a trustworthy badass.

Also, he tows a 400lb balloon in a bag + a basket. 

BIG BEARDED MAN: I've been flying balloons for 31 years! 

EVERYONE ELSE: You are very clearly a trustworthy badass. I'm glad you're the one piloting this balloon. 

6:30am

The van, now bearing the Big Bearded Man as well as Anna, Spencer, and two other passengers, pulls into a cemetery.

...Previous passengers? 

Anna is a little disturbed.

BIG BEARDED MAN: Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. Better to start here than end here!

Nervous laughter. 

BIG BEARDED MAN: Who wants to help inflate the balloon?

ANNA and SPENCER: ME! ME! ME!

They help inflate the balloon. It's really cool.

This is the coolest picture ever, in Anna's humble opinion.

The passengers climb in, and the balloon flies off into the distance (little-known fact: "the distance" is another name for "Pennsylvania.") An hour later, they will return to Earth, and Spencer will drive Anna to Charlottesville for her internship...but that's a story for another day.

Also, creepily enough and by total coincidence, they ended up landing in a cemetery. So they did in fact end there, and that is where this play also ends.


[End]

Author's Note: If you all don't post, I will fill this blog with increasingly annoying, sleep-deprivation-driven entries. FILL IT. Don't doubt me; today, I helped fill a balloon with nearly 140,000 cubic feet of propane. I am a filling maCHINE.